Last February, two of my classmates have had a serious quarrel because of some “misunderstood” statements. To settle it, our class held a meeting of some sort but in my opinion, it is a judicial court whose audiences are people, we, who are not really involved in the quarrel but whose presence are required for some reason I don’t know but in fact I really know but I just don’t want to blabber it out for some unknown reason, too.
So there we sat, watching as the two of them exchanged their arguments and I couldn’t help but notice how some of my classmates show their “interest.” Some listen, some don’t, some chit-chatted while some didn’t care. So, there we were, perfecting an example of a typical classroom while the teacher talks but in this case, while the two of my classmates exchange their reasons.
So I sat there. Completely innocent of knowing what really happened that night when Classmate 1 was said to have yelled at Classmate 2 who is 12 years older than Classmate 1. I never really knew what happened but I know that I completely know what was happening at those very moments.
I sat silently while my two friends were busy putting some black thing called ‘mascara’ in their eyelashes and while my other classmates joined in the argument which originally has just two participants. Some cried and asked why those things should ever happen. Why do we need to fight with one another if we can just forgive each other? I watched as the simple quarrel turned into a mellow-dramatic soap opera that I never loved to watch.
But did the two forgive each other instantly, why, of course not. Because admit it or not, each one of us has reasons that we want to prove and answers we want to hear. So there they continued on throwing their sentiments to one another and I noticed the evident rise of volume on their voice boxes and earned more interest in this new promising debate until I heard some of my classmates muttering Peter’s name under their breaths and the point came when the two were comforted by their friends and I feared that the university clinic will be of medical assistance.
So I stood and asked the body the permission to speak. I said, “This is the only time I am going to meddle with things like this so let me have the floor, everybody. I need you not to yell. You don’t need to say that I am another smart-ass who’s going to add spices on this classroom epidemic. We are Language Major-students,” I said for we are English and Filipino Majors and continued, “So we must know that the things we are saying have meanings.”
The crowd fell into silence and started listening to me as if I am an angel. I grabbed the rare chance and continued, “We should learn that every thought we speak of has its SURFACE and DEEP meaning.”
With this, they look at me curiously and I realized that our professors hadn’t mentioned this thing yet in our classes and I felt like a smart-ass but I continued, “Surface meaning is the MEANING that the receiver has got and Deep meaning is the meaning we want our receiver to understand. May I ask what the channel used by Classmate 1 in transmitting her ‘misunderstood’ message was?”
And they said that it was personally channeled so it was not through a phone that I expected earlier but went on, “May I ask how Classmate 1 delivered her message; in what tone?”
And I started to speak the message in high tones, middle tones and finally low tones and they answered that Classmate 1 delivered the message in high tones and I thought that that was the reason why Classmate 2 was mad. Until that moment she was still mad so I continued.
“May I ask Classmate 2, what was your impression upon hearing Classmate 1’s message?”
Indeed she answered she felt mad because it’s not a courteous way to ask a request from someone older like her. I know it because Filipinos are really sensitive when it comes to courteousness.
So I asked Classmate 1, “What is your tone in giving that message?” And she admitted that it was really high and again I asked her, “If you are going to bring back that time, how would you say it again?” “Softly,” she stated the same sentence but this time in a low tone. She almost cried while saying those words and I tried to help her by asking what the reason of her high tone that night was?
Alas! And she said that she was tired and she was stressed in preparing the cheer dance and she didn’t notice that her voice was big.
Finally, I ended up my short lecture by steadying my emotion. I knew it will deepen the effect on my classmates. I looked at them and in a soft but hard voice, I said “All of us commits mistake. All of us must understand. We are different from one another so we must put our shoes in everybody’s places so that we may see in different angles and perspectives. And if we continue to make these differences as walls from each other, we will end up alone. Instead, we should make these differences as bridges so we may reach others.”
The class fell silent.
I sat back in my chair and continued on watching my two friends as they put that thing they call “blush-on” on their cheeks.
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Check another article related to misunderstandings at http://officialmarkangelo.blogspot.com/2012/09/basic-presentation-on-discourse-analysis.html
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